That vans there again.
Parked across the street.
I don’t even know if you work there anymore, but each time I see it I feel fear.
A visceral shaking to my core at the thought you could be close.
I tried running before, but the memories followed me, and I still found your face in crowds despite it being impossible that it could be you.
Nearly 30 years and you still hold the power.
My fear is to catch your eye, because I know if I looked into them again my throat would close and I would be back there. A frightened girl, scared to call out.
So much has changed since then, but our eyes have stayed the same.
I wonder if you looked into mine if you would feel that power again?
Or did you just get on with your life. No second thought about that night. You didn’t notice my tears or cries to stop then, so why remember them now?
I hate that I still give you the space to have power over me.
But I still cannot breathe when the memory enters my mind as you did me.
I just needed you to stop.
Now my fear needs to stop.