I dreamt my kids were still babies last night. But I knew they were grown adults and couldn’t figure out why they were here as babies again. I was trying to feeding them things they hated as a child but enjoy now.They wanted to do crafts and as always I didn’t want the glitter getting everywhere. One of my kids was suffering sores around their nappy line and I told them I was sorry and that I knew how uncomfortable that was as I too get sores around my HRT patches some days. We were throwing a party at my … Continue reading “Flown the nest”
Month: December 2023
I dreamt my kids were still babies
I dreamt my kids were still babies last night. But I knew they were grown adults and couldn’t figure out why they were here as babies again. I was trying to feed them things they hated as a child but enjoy now. They wanted to do crafts and as always I didn’t want the glitter getting everywhere. One of my kids was suffering sores around their nappy line and I told them I was sorry and that I knew how uncomfortable that was as I too get sores around my HRT patches some days. We were throwing a party at … Continue reading “I dreamt my kids were still babies”
2023 The year I tried
I think 2023 will forever be known as the year I tried. I tried to kill myself, I tried to refind myself, I tried to hold it together as my head filled with poison over things I could no longer control. I tried to build bridges. I tried to move forward despite the feeling that I was constantly wading through treacle. I tried to be well when I’m still very much not well at all. And currently, that relates to my trying to ‘do’ Christmas. If you have been on this site for more than a couple of clicks, you’ll … Continue reading “2023 The year I tried”
There is that Van again
That vans there again. Parked across the street. I don’t even know if you work there anymore, but each time I see it I feel fear. A visceral shaking to my core at the thought you could be close. I tried running before, but the memories followed me, and I still found your face in crowds despite it being impossible that it could be you. Nearly 30 years and you still hold the power. My fear is to catch your eye, because I know if I looked into them again my throat would close and I would be back there. … Continue reading “There is that Van again”
The French exchange
I got some news last month. I have held this post like a boiled sweet in my mouth. Moving it side to side, let it melt for a moment to understand the complexity, the flavour, for I know my thoughts might not be how others feel or accept. A friend has passed away. I say friend, but in all honesty with life and busyness and stuff we very rarely spoke now. On paper we should have been each others support. They had fibro too. Life has rolled some punches and mental health has kicked their arse. Such common ground. We … Continue reading “The French exchange”