I dreamt my kids were still babies last night. But I knew they were grown adults and couldn’t figure out why they were here as babies again. I was trying to feeding them things they hated as a child but enjoy now.They wanted to do crafts and as always I didn’t want the glitter getting everywhere. One of my kids was suffering sores around their nappy line and I told them I was sorry and that I knew how uncomfortable that was as I too get sores around my HRT patches some days. We were throwing a party at my … Continue reading “Flown the nest”
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Sofa shopping
So we shopped for a new sofa in the sales. It was just a replacement for the one we’ve got. Theres nothing wrong with the leather of the one there. But it’s sagging in the middle, it’s a bit more lumpy and not like it used to be. It feels familiar. It was just the 2 of us and I figured it would be an easy day. Oh how wrong could I be. Who knew sofa shopping would be such an emotional rollercoaster? We sat on no less than 50 sofas. Over a period of 5 hours no. But that … Continue reading “Sofa shopping”
A little fall of rain
Driving home last week I was sad. The verges were filled with browns and golds, the greens all faded and gone. Now, this usually would excite me—the start of autumn, the changing of the leaves. But this wasn’t that. The countryside is burnt to a crisp from the heat of the sun. An exceptional heatwave hit the UK in July, and then a second hit at the beginning of August and all the plants and wildlife have shriveled and many perished. Everything looks beyond saving. It feels like we will never have our beautiful green countryside back. But yesterday something … Continue reading “A little fall of rain”
New job, New me
I start a new job next week. If I’m honest I have mixed emotions about it. There is excitement and nervousness all mixed together and there is sadness too. For starters, I’ll be the new girl. And I’ll have a whole heap of things to learn. I know I will spend the coming weeks wiped out with trying to remember it all. But thats ok. Im looking forward to that bit. I like learning new things. And with this job comes big changes. It’ll be the first time in a long time I won’t be paying in my own wages. … Continue reading “New job, New me”
Are we nearly there yet?
Today has been hard We were due to finish our holiday on Saturday. which allowed us 2 days visiting Germany But being this close to the end, we realised we all just want to be home. Ever since that decision was made I have felt like I just want to cry. Not the silent tears that fell when visiting Auschwitz, but the big heartfelt sobs that leave you exhausted and covered in snot. It doesn’t help that I’ve felt poorly. My irritating perky attitude has slipped away and I feel a shell of the girl who started this trip. I … Continue reading “Are we nearly there yet?”
Bronze Shoes
Have you heard about the shoes on the Danube? No its not the start of a joke, in fact its so far away from being funny. Today we visited The House of Terror in Budapest. It tells of the events during the war and later of what life was like whilst Hungary was under communist rule. It takes you through the timeline of systemic abuse. How children reported their parents. How brother tortured brother only to end up being tortured themselves for the same crimes of being of Jewish descent. And of the murder of thousands upon thousands of people … Continue reading “Bronze Shoes”
Auschwitz
Just pulling up to the car park I feel a nervous apprehension. A lump in my throat. The humour that has accompanied our roadtrip to date no longer appropriate. Entering the camp there is a silence across the place that even the birds respect. Visitors speak in hushed voices as though they try not to disturb any spirits that many linger. Any raised voice or nervous giggle are met with tuts and frowns. But otherwise you wouldnt know the secrets that this place holds. The yard looks like an old run down holiday camp. Large brick buildings set in rows. … Continue reading “Auschwitz”
My current inner monologue
“What you doing?” “Drinking my coffee.” “What you doing after that?” “Shhh, Its early! I don’t know yet.” “It’s 11am! You’ve been up for an hour!” “I know, but it’s the weekend.” “You know you’ve only got 2 months now right?” “2 months till what?” “Til you’re 40” “I know I’ve been seeing all my old school friends posts about their birthday since September! Im not stupid!” “Ye but you wrote in your journal last year, You were going to be fabulous by 40.” “Which journal?” “The one you started when you swore you were going to get your shit … Continue reading “My current inner monologue”